Did you clean behind your ears?

      "Did you clean behind your ears?"
      Isn't that just the classic mother's reminder? I doubt that I will ever hear that cliche phrase the same again.
       During one of her post accident surgeries Rebecca received some nerve damage that now causes areas on the right side of her face and head to be extremely sensitive and vulnerable to excruciating pain. Thus making it quite challenging to wash behind her right ear. However, as much as we dread  washing behind her ear, it must be done.
   Today we decided to bolster up some courage and address that area by cleaning behind her ear. After applying several lotions intended to reduce the pain I went to work. With a cue tip I tried to be as soft as a butterfly and gently clean this sensitive area. Even this slight irritation began to cause Rebecca pain and triggered nerve pain all throughout her face. Knowing I was causing her pain was painful for me. The last thing any caregiver wants is to cause pain to the person they are caring for and the last thing I ever want to do is to cause pain to someone I dearly love. But it had to be done. So I continued to work away until Rebecca told me that she had reached her limit and could not handle any more.
     As I was leaving her room to prepare lunch she said, "Anna....thank you".
  Thank you? I had just caused her to have excruciating pain and she thanked me? Yes, it was under her supervision and for her well being, but still to say thank you for the pain through the pain? And yet somehow through the pain she was able to put herself in my shoes understanding that this chore was difficult for me as well and to thank me for following through with it.
 Somehow that being thankful in all things comes back around and giving thanks in all circumstances includes experiencing pain such as the pain induced by cleaning behind Rebecca's ear. I know that I don't fully understand what it means to be thankful in all things and especially to be thankful in the pain, but I hope to be able to carry this picture of being thankful in the pain for the pain and to treasure it my heart to utilize in the moments when I do encounter pain.

Beauty is Resilient

Two things I cannot fathom: The extent of pain and suffering and the resilience of beauty.
 
      The Boston marathon victims were on my mind as I went on my run today. Not because I thought it could have been me injured there in the Boston bombing. No, running the Boston marathon has never crossed my mind. But the fact that tragedy can strike anyone, anytime, anywhere for no reason at all was heavily on my mind. As I continued to run I realized that I was running on streets once occupied by Nazi soldiers and that the tragedy of the Boston marathon is just a drop in the bucket, no, in the ocean of human tragedies. When I tried to fathom all of this it was too much for me. I cannot even comprehend the small extent of human suffering I have witnessed through caregiving, so I obviously cannot even wrap my head around the massive extent of human suffering that has occurred and still exists in the world today.
         I continued to run and it was then that I began to marvel at the beauty of the pale green buds and the wispy blossoms on the tress and the brilliance of the yellow daffodils. My heart lightened as I heard the birds singing and watched a child skip alongside her mother.
      I realized that beauty is resilient. Beauty remains despite history's track record of pain, horror, and tragedy. It pokes out like flowers in spring in spite of all things evil. It speaks of hope, of a return to things as they were created to be. Beauty reminds us that in the end the Creator of everything good and beautiful wins. Marvel in the beautiful things, find hope in the beautiful things, let the beautiful things point to the One who can heal and restore what is broken and hurt.

Brueghels

       I am not an art history expert.........not even remotely close, but recently I have enjoyed art and what can be spoken through it. So when my off day fell on another cold and rainy day I decided why not spend the afternoon meandering through the Belgian Royal Fine Arts Museum? The museum itself was gorgeous and separated into both ancient and modern art areas. And as I said, I am not an art expert so I cannot adequately explain what was displayed. But in the modern art galleries there were lots of impressionist painting and in the ancient art galleries lots of medieval and Renaissance religious paintings. Sometimes I felt like I was walking through the Bible in paintings (and it was rather interesting and sometimes humorous to see various depictions of Jesus and other Biblical characters).
       What I found most interesting was that many of the Biblical scenes were contemporary to the time they were painted. The artists chose to place many of their Biblical scene in their contemporary world with European towns in the background and their characters dressed in 15th century fashion. So trying to make Jesus and the Bible relevant to the current culture is not a new phenomenon.
      My favorite of these types of paintings came from Belgian artist Pieter Bruegel and his son Pieter Brueghel II. Bruegel senior was known for his Belgian peasant scenes and many of his paintings made me think of the Richard Scary's books I read as a kid because there was always so much going on. My favorite of these paintings was "Census at Bethlehem" (see below)

And then this sequel "Adoration of the Magi" done by Pieter Brueghel II

     What made these two painting stand out to me wasn't that the Pieters chose to depict the birth of Jesus in a Belgian town in the winter, but how the artists depicted the hustle and bustle going on throughout the entire scene. Jesus is coming to this town town and is present among the peasants and they don't even know it. They are occupied with their duties, with hauling water, with snow ball fights, and with watching little children slide down frozen canals. They don't even care or notice that Jesus is with them.
     Emmanuel-God with us. Isn't that what we say and celebrate at Christmas? Yet even though I know that God is with me and that Jesus is alive and living and active in me through the Holy Spirit I realized that I often live life like these Belgian peasants. I go about my day as usual occupied by the daily activities forgetting that Jesus is right there beside me ready to be worshiped and adored and ready to just be with me. How often I lose sight of this marvelous reality. So thanks to those Belgian Brueghels I was reminded of the simple but incredible truth that God is with us.

Feeling

    I have come back to Belgium, to Genval, to my little room on the third floor, to Rebecca, and to all who are involved in the household here. And it is so very good.
  A week ago Angela (the other caregiver who traveled with me) and I left Columbus and flew to NYC then to London and then onto Brussels. We had very smooth flights and I especially enjoyed having a travel companion.
     We had hoped to leave snow behind us in Ohio, but we were wrong and have had several snow showers since our arrival. Due to various reasons we have jumped right into the flow of things here. Several of the people in the household are fighting off a virus (which thankfully we have not caught) and consequently we had a quiet and low-key Easter weekend, but even the sickness could not diminish the excitement of proclaiming "He is risen!" on Easter morning.
     Something interesting that I have observed after being around people with spinal cord injuries is that feeling is not just one sensation. When a person like Rebecca injures her spinal cord and recovers some feeling it is not every sensation that we refer to as "feeling". She may feel hot and cold but not soft and rough or dull and sharp. This realization fascinates me and I wonder if the way we are able feel God is similar.  At one time we could feel every aspect of Him, but that connection was damaged and is now in the restoration process. We may feel a sense of His affection towards us or His delight in us but it's not the entire feeling. What if there is an entire array of feeling God that we cannot yet experience?  Isn't it wonderful to know that one day we will be able to fully feel and experience God? Isn't that why celebrating Easter is so exciting? It reminds us of our hopeful anticipation of fully feeling, experiencing, and knowing God. And while we wait for that day to come we can still feel God in new ways even if it is just the outer edges of what is to come. I look forward to feeling God in new ways each day, even if just the fringes of His ways......

Snow dusted morning